Peppermint tea & Pre-release nerves - 15 May 22
I’m writing to you from the floor by my window, soaking up a little glimpse of sun before winter begins. My last few weeks have been chaotic, and I find the combination of sunlight on my face & a mug of peppermint tea in my hands to be especially soothing.
My first single from my debut EP will be out in the world this Thursday. Oh, goodness. I am a mixed up bowl full of nerves, relief, fear, excitement and dread (yes, dread). I’ve spent months, years crafting this project in the solitude of my bedroom, so it’s daunting to imagine these songs existing outside my lilac curtains. I imagine this is what a home cook who opens a restaurant might feel like. When you create only for yourself, with no intentions of pleasing an audience, your tastebuds are the only ones that matter. When you’re creating for yourself and an audience, the stakes are much higher. Suddenly nothing is salty enough, sweet enough, inventive enough - suddenly there is the potential for rejection and criticism.
Of course, I make music because I love it. I love the process, the challenge of finding specific chords and melodies to paint a feeling. I love the way I can listen to a song I’ve written and be immediately transported back to the moment I wrote it. I love how at home I feel when my fingers touch the piano keys or when I have a guitar in my hands. But I’d be dishonest if I said I only make music for myself. I get excited to share songs I’ve written, in the same way my dad is eager to share the food he’s cooked (he always relishes the opportunity to watch our faces when we take the first bite). It brings me joy to watch people connect with my music, and hear how a specific song has helped them through a difficult time. In short, it brings me pleasure when a stranger finds meaning in my creations.
I’m still learning to let go of a project once it’s been released. When this single is out on Thursday, it’ll no longer be mine. It’ll be yours - yours to love (or hate), yours to feel, yours to find meaning in. I can’t wait for you to take the first bite :)